Azzy Ranks: 1349

 Well, you all(well, more like you three) knew this was coming. Especially if you know me. 

That, and I've mentioned it in a couple of the other posts, I think. 

At least if you DON'T know how I feel about 1349, I love them. They're definitely a top-10 to 15 band for me. If not top 10 to 13. Probably top 10, though it starts to get hard there. Formed around the turn of the century(a bit before), and named after the year the plague hit Norway, they had a little bit of demo material before they put out their main, self-titled demo in 2001, and their debut album, Liberation, was in 2003. I heard them pretty much right then and was hooked from the getgo. They play very extreme, brutal black metal, often at breakneck speeds. If getting beaten to death with a sack of hammers after being lit on fire had a soundtrack, it would be 1349. It's a brand of raw, brutal and even technical black metal(though it doesn't fall into the same area as some 'tech-metal' like weird time signatures or whatnot, more technical from a standpoint of layered and interesting; it's hard to explain, but I think you know what I mean.) 

1349 has managed to keep an amazingly stable lineup throughout their career. In black metal, this can sometimes be quite the challenge it would seem, but 1349's lineup was essentially nearly set on their first demo and solidified after, their biggest change coming from their 2nd guitarist, Tjalve, leaving after 2005's Hellfire, and them continuing as a four-piece. 

The band consists of Ravn(Vocals), Archaon(Guitars), Seidemann(Bass), and Frost(Drums), of course also from Satyricon and many other bands as a session musician. (The other members have been around, but mostly just as live session musicians. Seidemann is the most travelled of the others, having helped with several bands.)

They also take the best pictures.

This band looks like the secret super-boss of bands who you come across unprepared and they absolutely destroy you. From L-R we have Frost, Archaon, Ravn, and Seidemann; class-wise I believe they are Monk, Cleric, Fighter, and Wizard. 

Anyway, as usual, I'll be hitting up their 8 albums in order from "Worst" to the "Best," and yes, this is yet ANOTHER band where I thoroughly enjoy the whole discography! So there is no "Worst," there's just "Something has to be lower and something has to be higher;" with the caveat of "This is how I feel today," but I'll say the last and the first are quite solidified. Also, full albums, no EPs or demos, etc. 

I HIGHLY suggest that people listen to this band. I will say that they might be challenging sounding, in a sense; they are such a combination of heavy, raw, and fast that someone looking for 'catchy sing-a-longs' might come up short(though there's plenty of songs where I can find myself bopping along, that might just be me, though), but I don't think you'll regret it if you have a sit-down with these albums as a metalhead. 

With all of that out of the way, let's get started! 

8. Revelations of the Black Flame(2009)

While I will stand by and defend this album -- remember I did write a damn essay about how this album and Celtic Frost's "Into the Pandemonium" has what I thought are some interesting things in common! I do still think, in the end, I'd have to put it at the number 8 spot. Again emphasizing "There are no bad albums, or even, IMHO, mediocre ones, just ones that are better", this one is one of those "Mood-Style Albums" for me. While I can always find time for "Maggot Fetus...Teeth like Thorns"(a really freaking awesome, fast and nasty song), all in all, I think because it's so experimental, I just need to be in that "Experimental" style of mood. So at the end of the day, I appreciate very much that they tried out new things and broke off their usual path, but I feel like they managed to hit the 'Experimental Aspect' on a later album in a way that clicked a lot harder with me. 

7. Liberation(2003)

Writing about Liberation brings me back. I wrote a whole review for this on the old webzine, the year it came out, and it was my AotY 2003. (Fun Fact: 1349 as a band probably holds the record for Most Albums of the Year from me. While they aren't my number 1 band -- if I even have one of those -- they're A Favorite Band, and while one of their albums is a top 10 of all time of mine, it's just a case where the years they release albums, they have, more often than not, had my favorite album that particular year. But I digress.)

Back on track for Liberation; this album just floored me when I first heard it. It's *so* blistering, raw, nasty, and fast. It's a bludgeoning from start to finish. Frost's hands and feet deliver some of the nastiest blasts and double bass on this album you really will think he's a machine(if people hadn't already, back when they thought he was a machine on Rebel Extravaganza.) It's got a strange production; I think occasionally the production holds it back just a little bit, but at the same time, it also adds to the galloping destruction of these songs. And yes, I am aware that I'm gushing about an album that won my AotY 2003, in the same year as some insanely good albums, and it's at number 7 out of 8. This is just a testament to continue to show you the quality of the band's work(as I remind my dear readers once again, number 8 was an album that I wrote a 2000+ word essay on.)

6. Demonoir(2010)

After 2009's more experimental Revelations of the Black Flame, Demonoir sped things up overall again, going back to the style they were better known for(and it wasn't that Black Flame was *completely* left-field, more somewhat, but again you can read about that in my Pandemonium and the Black Flame blog.) Demonoir is an incredibly strong album, and it has some interesting interludes in between the songs that give it overall an eerie atmosphere. "When I was Flesh," the title track, "Atomic Chapel," and the fantastically named "Pandemonium War Bells"(really, when you hear a song title called "Pandemonium War Bells" it really says everything it has to about the song) are four of my favorites from it. I do find myself putting this album on a fair amount, it's just that really hairy area of 'this part of the list has everything too close.' I guess I might put the other albums on slightly more often as a whole, which is why this is at the number 6 spot, but once again I give my patented line of 'Next week, I think I might end up re-arranging the 7 through 4 area and probably will want to.' I'll say that it continued to show that the band had no problem continuing as a four-piece(2005 was the last time they were a five-piece, though they do occasionally use a 2nd live guitarist.) 

5. Beyond the Apocalypse(2004)

From the opening of "Chasing Dragons"(along with its unforgettable riff and breakdown) this album is their sophomore effort, coming just a year after Liberation, and this, too, won my Album of the Year back in 2004. It had a stronger production, but did not relent in its brutality or nastiness in the least; if anything, I think the better production added to this one. I do stand by that, as much as I love my rough stuff, Liberation's rough sound I think held it back ever so slightly from being a 10/10. This album does not have this issue. Their songwriting moved forward, as well; while they hung onto the unrelenting speed of their predecessor, they got heavier and riffier, all while Frost's drums continue to murder you where you stand. It's got some other stand-out tracks besides Chasing Dragons; Aiwass-Aeon and Blood Is the Mortar are both also great, and the album really doesn't have any lacking tracks. Just an overall impressive, crushing album that you should buy(you should just buy this band's whole discography, really.) 

4. Massive Cauldron of Chaos(2014)

Oh, boy. This one's a killer. Massive Cauldron of Chaos, or what occasionally gets nicknamed MCoC(let's be mature about this), is sometimes known at a glance for its white-and-red color, standing out from the rest of their albums if you're looking at them all on the shelf, but it is no less brutal unforgiving, and unrelenting. It's one of those albums that sounds like its name. Its songs are simply one word titles, as well, with the exception of one cover song on the digipak("The Heretic", from Possessed.) MCoC is an album I come back to a whole lot; I use it as a backdrop for painting minis quite often(given my predisposition to anything Chaos oriented.) "Cauldron," "Slaves," "Golem," and the incredibly nasty and flesh-tearing "Godslayer" are some standout tracks(Godslayer might be my favorite!), but this album rips from start to finish. Like the rest, this one's position depends on the day. I have been painting a lot of evil looking stuff lately so it's fresh in my mind; this might explain its position here today. The production on this one is also very satisfying; I really like the sound of the drums here, too. Hopefully this album will continue to soundtrack me for painting up chaos for years to come. In fact, I think this week this is why MCoC happens to be at the number 4 spot in this 'tightly contested middle ground'; I have been listening to it during painting sessions. (Hell, I almost want to go back and reorder the Satyricon list at the low-mid end for that reason.) But yeah, either way, awesome album. 

3. The Wolf and the King(2024)

Another band with the honor of having their most recent outing rank very highly in my album collection. In fact, I really do think, after listening to it for the past year now(it came out a year ago this month, at the time of this writing right now, which is October), that it's my 3rd favorite album of 1349. The title has a concept derived from alchemy; a sort of meaning of self-growth, in a way; the wolf devours the king, dies in flame, and the king is reborn from the ashes, cleansed and ready to be the best he can be. The songs themselves have their vicious, cold and grim sound that the band is known for -- no matter how much they grow musically, they keep the nasty, blistering edge that they've always kept since their inception. Which I appreciate; I always know I can come back to these guys when I need to hear music that sounds like it's trying to kill me. That said, I *also* appreciate how these guys are masters of some almost catchy riffs throughout all of this. I highly suggest this album gets picked up by anyone who is a fan; as 1349 tends to do, it was my album of the year in 2024. (There are not many years that this band releases an album and it doesn't win AotY for me, I notice. A couple of times due to their being some other insane contenders those years.) 

2. The Infernal Pathway(2019)

This one might come as a bit of a surprise, but yeah, their 2019 offering is my 2nd favorite album of theirs. When I mentioned "experimental aspect that hits better later" above, this is what I mean. A song like Abyssos Antithesis probably wouldn't have existed in this band's catalogue ten years or more before, but it's one of the coolest songs on the album with some absolutely killer riffs. My absolute *favorite* song on the album, and probably one of those top 30 Black Metal Songs in general, is probably Through Eyes of Stone, which likewise has absolutely insane riffs. This album is a dark, blistering, black metal riff factory and despite it being only six years old(note: It feels a lot more recent, but that's more the fact that everything has blended together since the mid 2010s for me), has nonetheless solidified itself right near the top. But, still, as fantastic as the last two albums have been from this band -- enough to take BOTH the number 3 and number 2 spots -- there is one album that will I think always reign supreme. Probably. 

1. Hellfire(2005)

Oh, Hellfire. Lovely, lovely Hellfire. One of my top 10 albums of all time, and yeah, this one is number 1, and a pretty easily said number 1, even though as you can see I've pretty much gushed about all of these. Hellfire is THE, IMHO, quintessential album in the sub-genre(or sub-sub-genre) of brutal, unrelenting, black metal that's absolutely essential listening. In the "If you only get one album that's in the sub-genre of brutal, unrelenting black metal, make it Hellfire." The vocals are absolutely sick, the riffs are amazing; simultaneously catchy, brutal, and cold, and the drums sound like they are actively trying to break every bone in your body; Frost is in insane form here. The production ties this one all together in a perfect package; it sounds VERY heavy and powerful. If I'm ever in need of something to listen to, putting on Hellfire is something that can never go wrong. All the songs are amazing, if you hadn't guessed; the opening of "I Am Abomination" sets the mood for the rest of the album, as Nathicana's nastiness follows it up, and Celestial Deconstruction is one of my favorite songs from the band in general. Its final track, Hellfire, is exactly 13 minutes and 49 seconds long and never wears out its welcome. If I hadn't sold you on the album yet, this may not be the genre for you. (And that's okay, of course! I certainly am not into every metal sub-genre I've heard.) But if you ARE Into this genre? This is a must-buy. Go listen and proceed to feel yourself beaten senseless. (I also paint often to this album.) 

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And there we go. My own personal ranking, and yeah, as I said, that spot from 7 to 4 is pretty much 'what I felt like that morning.' It might be different a week from now, or whatnot. 

I also want to add that I NEED to see this band live. Because the universe likes to plot against me personally, the last time they were here, I had a damn chest infection and I couldn't go to the gig. And it was at a small place, too, making me even *more* infuriated. And then they hadn't played Helsinki the rest of the year, but I am hoping beyond hope they make it here for one of the festivals next year. I think they'd be perfect at Hellsinki Metalfest for the indoor stage!! Perhaps this can happen? Maybe? (I had missed them in 2016 as well, due to not having been home at the time -- we were traveling. Story of my life.) 

Anyway thanks for sticking around again, and I'll write again when I feel like I have something to say! 

'Til next time! As a bonus, enjoy this sick drum cam. We need more 1349 drum cams.  

Random Mini Painting Update

 I might have mentioned this before, but I've been getting back into the realm of painting minis again. I used to do it a little bit in the old AD&D days(you remember, perhaps, if you're a fossil like myself, the old Ral Partha metal minis?), but not too much, and in those days, it was more about slapping paint on miniatures. Now I've been actually trying it for real. Going into my 3rd week and definitely feeling improvements. 

I've been 3D printing some(those actually HAVE that very Ral Partha style, only in PLA-small, rougher and the like), and also got some better ones. I'll probably be getting a (Massive Cauldron of) Chaos Warriors set soon from Age of Sigmar to paint; those are cool since even though I'm more of a TTRPG fan than a wargame person(I like the settings and lore, but prefer TTRPG rules for tabletop, and strategy videogame RPGs more), they work nicely on shelves and as PCs/enemies. Those will keep me pretty busy for awhile, methinks. 

Here's a few of the ones I've been messing with; a dwarf cleric that's very much in that Ral Partha style, a Tonberry just because they're cute, and most recently, a Goblin warchief fellow. I'm still touching them all up(going to put more glow on the Tonberry lantern, some better basing on the dwarf with some tweaks and clean/touch up and properly base the goblin), but it's been mad fun! And with lots of metal soundtracks in the background, old 80s and 90s extreme favorites have been carrying many sessions.

I do have a black metal corvid barbarian getting tweaked up still, as well, and a primed and ready beholder, orc and death knight. 

Anyway, just wanted to post a few odds and ends while I also work on that 1349 ranking!

Azzy Ranks: King Diamond

Long overdue(okay, maybe not *long*, it's only been a few weeks), I wanted to give my two cents on my favorite King Diamond albums, as well. 

Much like Mercyful Fate, the King really never put out an album that I can say I disliked; I will say that I like the King's lowest ranked album less than I do Mercyful Fate's, but I would still happily put it above many a band's 'worst' album. As per usual, I'm just doing normal, full-length releases; no live albums or anything of that nature. 

I don't think the top 5 of this list is going to come as a surprise to folks. I don't *try* to follow the mainstream, but certain albums are known to be legendary classics for a reason. King Diamond himself hasn't released a solo album since 2007, which at this point is almost 20 years ago(I say as I blow the dust from my joints thinking about this fact.) He DOES have another one cooking under the hood, though -- and from what he's said, it's going to be a trilogy, so I'm very excited to hear what he comes up with. 

So without further ado, let's get going with Azzy Ranks: King Diamond! We have 12 albums to get through this time. 

12. House of God(2000): 

House of God's story is a little bit different than what we're used to, well...somewhat. King goes a little less into the horror here and more into the church legends(particularly of Rennes Le Château, or at least somewhat; a little more conspiracy-theory or whatnot perhaps.) The story takes a backseat to this one I think, but there are solid tracks to be heard here, and as the rest of his albums, it's worth a listen. Musically it still sounds like King Diamond, even if it's not high-end King, it just means it's a competent album overall. I wish I had more to say about this one, but I'll say I probably listen to it so little that it just doesn't stick out to me too much. But if you're trying to complete a King Diamond collection, it's worth a purchase. 

11. The Graveyard(1996):

Whew boy, this one's DARK. Like this is some disturbing content in this, I of course don't mind it or anything but I'll say for people who find things that deal with SA and the like not to your liking, I'd steer clear of this. For those who don't mind that fiction is fiction and not everything has to be a comfy listen, I'd check it out. Dealing with King Diamond playing the part of a dude working for a very nasty, perverted, corrupt mayor, it starts to spiral down into a story of a cursed graveyard and a sanitarium called the "Black Hill Sanitarium", which is, of course, everything it says on the tin, The Graveyard is a pretty good offering overall, though I think for me it's down further on the list just because it kinda lacks some of those memorable riffs on the rest of the albums, but it's still a pretty damn good album anyway. THAT said, the song "Black Hill Sanitarium" does have some of that, as does "Waiting", so it's not like it lacks them completely. I do put this on less than a lot of the others, but decisions must be made. 

10. Abigail II: The Revenge(2002):

Being a sequel album to Abigail, I will say it definitely didn't hit as hard as the original, but is nonetheless an incredibly solid album from the King. Picking up where the original left off, it turns out that Abigail ended up living because the Black Horsemen did not go through with nailing her to the coffin with the silver spikes(spoiler: Abigail is the leader of the Black Horsemen's half-sister.) I will say the story continues to be rather good and IS definitely a worthy sequel; but when you release an album like Abigail, the fact he even came close to getting a sequel this good is praiseworthy, in my book. I think they do make a great back-to-back spooky listen. Hell, when I think of these together I almost think they'd make a pretty awesome set of AD&D modules or something. The sequel is actually quite darker than the original. Sometimes I wonder if the story *needed* a sequel, though, which is why I have it kinda in the middle. But this is a *music* rating, so I think I should touch on the music here too, and musically, I think I'm happy with its placement as well. Good, solid songs, but doesn't quite have Abigail's magic. (It's hard to not compare the two, as much as I try.) 

9. Voodoo(1998)

Does that art look familiar? That's Kristian "Necrolord" Wåhlin, AKA one of the extreme metal art gods, AKA purveyor of purple black metal castles everywhere. Besides the bitching cover art, Voodoo is a fun and strong album. Story-wise, this deals with a Voodoo-themed setup. Set in an old colonial house in the early 1930s near Baton Rouge, Louisiana(this gives me a huge Alone in the Dark vibe, btw; I mean the old, 1992 game, not any of the horrid remakes, which, as an aside is one of my more influential games), the Lafayette family moves in and of course the house is located next to an old Voodoo graveyard. The houses' caretaker, named Salem, also practices voodoo, and as one could surmise, horror hijinks ensue. This one lacks some of the super dark themes of Abigail II and The Graveyard. Moving onto the songs(I apologize again for waxing too long about the album themes, I'll try to snip that later), Voodoo has some crowd-pleasers on it, between the title track(an oft-played track in his live shows), and I personally really like the almost thrash-metal-esque "A Secret" and the dark, heavy "Salem." Just a cool album I think. 

8. Give Me Your Soul...Please(2007): 

This one happens to be King Diamond's most recent full-length(not counting the new song he's released, since the full-lengths aren't out yet.) I like this one; the story is quite dark and I think the songs overall are really damn good on it. In this one, it features the spirits of two children murdered by their father. The girl wants to save her brother, so she haunts King to try to get him to help. Really dark and creepy premise. Musically it brings out some thrashier sounds here and there which I appreciate, and there's some of those tell-tale "King Diamond Anthems" on it -- "Never Ending Hill", "Is Anybody Here?", and the title track fall here I think. I really like the riffs and guitar work on this album. Some excellent melodies to be found on it. Coupled with the creepy presence I kinda think this album flies under the radar for some King Diamond fans. Hell I think I might have underrated it myself for years, but I feel pretty good putting it here.

7. The Spider's Lullabye(1995):

I actually had to come back to this one almost moreso than some of the others; this is definitely, on another listen, one of those 'I don't really put it on a lot' KD albums", with the caveat "Damn, why DON'T I put this on more often?" It's actually pretty damn solid on a new listen. I guess King is just one of those people who I find myself drifting toward The Old Classics more often(like, if I reach for an album, I find myself reaching for Abigail, or Fatal Portrait, or GRANDMAAAA or whatnot.) But yeah, this is a really solid album. Great riffs and melodies here. The intro track "From the Other Side" has trappings of those King Diamond Classics. This album breaks KD's normal mold, btw, in that only half the songs form a concept -- the second half. The first half are just songs, but I think it works fine. The first few songs do have themes; "Killer", for example, is about a serial killer being put to death, and "Poltergeist" is about a ghost hunter dealing with a spirit. In a way, the first four songs are kind of like a horror anthology, only in album form? The concept for the second half deals with curing a man of his arachnophobia, through the help of a Totally Not Wicked Doctor, Dr. Eastmann. I'd say to really go give this another listen and see if it hits you the same way as it did me on a relisten. Hell, on another day, this could've been number 6. It's extremely close, anyway. 

6. The Puppet Master(2003)

Nothing says 'creepy ass horror' more than evil puppets. Okay, maybe some things say horror more than creepy puppets, but we all know that creepy dolls and puppets make for some equally creepy shit. A concept album about a creepy puppetmaster from Budapest and his wife who can turn people into said puppets(I'm pretty sure there exists a horror movie about this.) Did I mention these puppets are almost life-size and in the songs look 'life-like?' ANYWAY, The Puppet Master is KD's 11th album, and just falls outside of my top 5. (Yeah, remember, I do pay attention to new albums.) All in all it's a great creepy album, with some great riffs, and despite being recorded in 2003, totally has KD's classic sound. Which I appreciate. The title track is excellent, I adore the song "Magic", and all told the album is just solid from beginning to end. If KD can even get near this point with his newer, upcoming albums, count me absolutely in. This album I think would make a pretty killer movie, too, in the right hands. 

5. The Eye(1990)

The Eye actually goes toward a bit more of a historical bent here, as instead of going into their horror-stories, The Eye deals with the old-school witch trials. Hearing King Diamond sing about them is of course incredibly creepy, as his wailing voice really gives an edge to the songs. "Burn" is incredible. The riffs are strong, and this album I think sometimes gets the tiniest bit overlooked compared to the numbers 4 through 1 for me, though he does play some of these tracks live(and they sound great, too.) Overall The Eye is a great album and is definitely one that I'll find myself grabbing off the shelf when I want to get in that spooky-creative mood. (I'm not sure exactly why it leads toward a 'spooky-creative' mood when it's more based off of real life stuff, but a good witch-based album I reckon always helps.) 

4. Them(1988)

Say it with me now: GRANDMAAAAA! Them is King Diamond's third album, the first part of the Conspiracy-Them duo. The King's mentally ill grandma is the center of this whole thing, but of course she makes a good cup of tea. Them is a banger from start to finish, with "Welcome Home" and "The Invisible Guests" being two of my favorites. An eerie album, it's less straight-up satanic horror and more 'Personal Horror', given the scary ass grandma in these. Them makes its way onto my playlist quite often and will probably continue to for a long time. Them and Conspiracy are pretty much interchangeable, depending on my mood, and yeah, I basically just gave away number three. But yeah, Them is a must-buy and I don't know any metalhead who doesn't give a big GRANDMAAAAAA shout at the beginning of the legendary "Welcome Home."

3. Conspiracy(1989)

Giving away number 3 above, Conspiracy, KD's fourth album, is the 2nd part of the Them-Conspiracy duology. Both concept albums dealing with the King living with his creepy grandma and all of the weirdness that comes within, Conspiracy is a very strong album with plenty of memorable riffs and songs on it. "At the Graves" creepy 'evil circus music' opening gives way to quite the headbanger of a song which showcases the King's falsetto and has some fantastic riffs and is catchy as all hell. It might actually be one of my favorite KD songs if I listed a top 20 or something, in fact. I'd say the albums are totally worth listening to back to back. This was one of the first KD albums I bought, in fact, way back, along with Abigail, so there might be a little bit of that nostalgic draw to it for me, too. I still remember seeing the cover there looking at me in the record store. 

2. Fatal Portrait(1986)

King Diamond's debut album narrowly gets my 2nd place spot. I gotta say 4-3-2 are extremely close to each other. Fatal Portrait really still has those remnants of old Mercyful Fate, and since I do tend to listen to Mercyful Fate slightly more often, it may explain my affinity for the album. This album isn't so much of a full concept, but has some thematic songs to it and such. One of my favorite King Diamond tracks is located on this album, which is "Dressed In White"(it's only 3 minutes long, but it's one of those 'Put on Repeat' songs it's so good.) At least for me, anyway. It SOUNDS like it could be a Mercyful Fate song even more than some of the others; it has that pure early 80s dark heavy metal sound to it. The whole album rips, though, and it's why it sits in my number 2 spot overall. I put it on almost as much as the number 1, which is gonna come as absolutely zero surprise. 

1. Abigail(1987)

To what is probably no one's surprise, Abigail hits the number one spot. One of my favorite, if not my favorite, concept albums of all time; the King remains the master of crafting a good concept album, as they just hit again and again. Abigail is wonderfully creepy and eerie, with unforgettable songs(you have to see "Funeral" -> "Arrival" live to appreciate it even more), and the album hits from start to finish. Telling the story of Miriam Natias and Jonathan La'Fey, the couple move into an old mansion that was owned by one of La'Fey's now-dead family members and he 'luckily' inherited it. They are greeted by seven horsemen at the gates that warn them not to move in...but we all know how this goes. I don't want to spoil the album's story, but it hits my style of horror as I love anything that takes place in The Olden Days in terms of horror. The story and concept are great, the songs are impeccable, and it's one of those Heavy Metal Must-Own albums. Get out there and listen to it! (OH yeah, and this one's REALLY good for sparking the creativity when you're doing spooky stuff, and indeed, I have based some of an AD&D module I have written on some aspects of this album, but that's a story for another time.) 

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And boom. King Diamond's albums rated by me, how I'd place them this week. Some of the ones out of the top 5 could be pretty shiftable, I admit, and Conspiracy/Them definitely shifts around a bit, but the top 2 I'd say are very solidly in their positions. Did I mention Abigail is one of the best concept albums of all time? You all really need to check that one out(and yeah, listen to the follow-up, too! It's great as well, even if it's further down.)

Alrighty folks! Til' next time, stay evil or something, kiddies. (I just watched some Tales from the Crypt.) 

Hopefully between Sept-Oct!

 Hopefully sometime between Sept-Oct I'll be able to start and do the character creation/mini-tutorial/discussion vids for AD&D 2e. 

I'm pretty sure I can set aside some time blocks. Once again, these are not really going to be edited, just one of those "me and the camera live-discussion" types that I'm a fan of.

But I got the setup! 

Probably gonna do 4d6, drop low, and discuss other ways, show off some characters I had in a folder, and basically talk people through it and go into the philosophy of the old days in terms of how stats worked and stuff.

Hopefully these turn out well! (if not they aren't getting uploaded and I'll do an album review instead, heh.) 

TTRPG Character Creation Vids

 You know, there's tons of these things around(character creation videos)...at least kinda. Okay, maybe not *tons* of certain editions. Newer editions of games, yes, but I can't really find a lot of older ones.

Considering doing some now and then for fun. VERY off the cuff stuff; not really edited, just like old-school style for old-school editions. No face shots(maybe a mask shot once or twice), but more like "Hands and Books" style with the camera above, you guys know the type I think. Rolling stats on camera and the like. 

Yes, I'll be wearing the spikes/studs on the hands, lol. I think to add something to it I'll pick an album to play in the background(one that doesn't run afoul of any license stuff; AKA albums that are all available on official band channels online/otherwise available for streaming, even though I won't stream them.) I'll have to feel out what's playable and what's not, but sticking to stuff on official band channels seems a safe bet. 

I might be able to find three people who watch me do chargen tutorials for 30+ year old games while Dark Medieval Times plays in the background! (Hell, even if I got three hits in a month I'd count myself as happy.)

I'm not a streamer, nor a 'content creator'(I am not fond of that phrase at all), nor anything like that, I am not taking sponsors, nor monetizing anything, nor do I care to-just a person who likes to talk about old RPGs. 

(Plus after looking through, I can't seem to find too many chargen videos for stuff like 1st-2nd edition AD&D, or 1st-3rd Shadowrun...just a handful. More might always be welcome.) 

Azzy Ranks: Mercyful Fate

Continuing on with my little random series(I really should pick a game series to do this with one day, Castlevania, maybe?) to celebrate seeing King Diamond live, I decided to do a back to back ranking of both Mercyful Fate's and King Diamond's discogs, starting with Mercyful Fate. 

Once again, we have acts like Sodom, Satyricon and a few others where I really enjoy their entire discographies, so there are no "Bad" albums in either of these, which makes it, once again, challenging. I stand by the fact I feel like it's harder to rank albums when they're all good, than when there are extremely obvious stand-outs or ones that don't work. 

Out of the two, I DO slightly prefer Mercyful Fate as a whole, but I do love the King's solo endeavors as well. I think MF just has a little bit more of a sound that hits me just a tiny bit more. But it's close. 

Mercyful Fate's most recent album was out in 1999, 26 years ago, but they ARE working on new material! So I'll get to see where that lands. As per usual, I'll be doing the full-lengths. I feel a little bad sometimes leaving out EPs and such(especially because some bands have EPs that I consider my favorites, like Keep of Kalessin with Reclaim or even In the Sign of Evil with Sodom), but I think it makes for a more clear and concise list to do so. Mercyful Fate only has seven full-lengths, so without further ado:

7. Dead Again(1998)

Starting off the list we have Dead Again. As I stated above, "A 'low' ranked Mercyful Fate album is still a really good album that I'd suggest to anyone looking for classic dark heavy metal to get.' I think overall I just end up putting this on less than the other 90s albums since I feel like even though it's overall good, it lacks those 'really standout tracks' that all the other albums have at least one of. There are still some really good songs here though, even if the production feels a bit odd sometimes. I can't say there's anything stand-out 'wrong' with the album. Since Forever and the Lady who Cries are both a couple of songs that almost hit that stand-out status, though! Fear is really good as well. 

6. Into the Unknown(1996)

Into the Unknown certainly has some gems on it. Fifteen Men(and a bottle of rum) is a pretty awesome evil pirate tribute, which is not something you'd expect from Mercyful Fate(but it's nice to see a more Bad Guy Pirate Song), and being a Lovecraft junkie I have to appreciate Kutulu. This is another one of those "Huh, I haven't put this on for awhile" albums. But for a classic, dark heavy metal album in the 90s, this still sounds great. Mercyful Fate didn't try to turn industrial, or go way into the left field in order to battle grunge or anything, they just stayed Mercyful Fate, and it works. 

5. 9(1999)

Their latest album(yeah, 26 years ago and counting, but once again praise satan that they're making more music!) I would say ranks sixth for me. An album that I'd continue to suggest to anyone -- being a band where owning their whole discography I would say is a nice idea -- 9 has some great songs and riffs on it. Last Rites and Insane are great tracks, and Buried Alive is like old-school levels of good with its riffs and is probably my fav track on the album and a song I'd actually rank up there with some of my favorite Mercyful Fate songs. King Diamond sounds as great as ever. This is another case of 'Well, something has to be down here', and I just find myself putting it on a little less than the ones further down the list/depending on my mood. They didn't try to change their sound too much like a lot of classic and thrash bands in the 90s, and in their case, I feel like it was for the best(as much as I can like when bands progress.)

4.  In the Shadows(1993)

More horror-themed than Satanic-themed(much like King Diamond's self-titled work, though it's not a concept album like the King is known to do, though there is no lack of mention of witches and the like). In the Shadows might, after some thought, come in third. Their first album in almost ten years after Don't Break the Oath, it's a fine offering with Shermann's riffs being as catchy as always. Classics like The Bell Witch, Egypt, and the callback to the old days with Is that you, Melissa? make this an album I do find myself putting on a bit when I'm not running their 80s discography. Just overall a great album(but, for the hundredth time, all Mercyful Fate albums are great. 

3. Time(1994)

Time is a pretty incredible album that I think delves back more into the old-school Mercyful Fate more than ever. Maybe my brain sort of clicks with certain styles in certain bands, and while I'm always a fan of bands progressing through time(heh), and evolving, sometimes bands that keep going with their tried and true methods can work out and I think Mercyful Fate is one of them. Despite coming out in 1994(a time where a lot of those older bands went far into experimentation mode, for better or worse), it totally sounds like it could've been part of that 80s discography. Maybe that's why it kinda goes here for me? I like MF when they're on with the satanic themes too, I admit. Nightmare Be Thy Name, Angel of Light, Witches Dance right in a row hit hard and there are some super-killer riffs on this album. The Mad Arab of course appeals to the big Lovecraft fan in me, much like the sequel on Into the Unknown. 

2. Melissa(1983)

Melissa could be number 1 I think sometimes, and for a lot of folks I know it is; but it's very close in any case. How can one listen to the sounds of the legendary Evil(IMO one of their best songs), Black Funeral, or the epic Satan's Fall and NOT put this album at least close to the top? Melissa was one hell of a debut full-length(they did have their self-titled EP, later affectionately nicknamed' Nuns Have No Fun'.) Like, easily one of those upper echelon debut albums; while some bands' debuts left something to be desired and their real stride wouldn't be hit until their second or third album(see Judas Priest for a great example of this), Mercyful Fate hit the ground running straight to Hell with a big evil grin. All I can really say is to go out and immediately listen to this without stopping to pass Go or anything like that, if you're at all a fan of dark heavy metal. 

1. Don't Break the Oath(1984)

GodDAMN 1984 was a great year. Bathory's S/T album, Ride the Lightning, Morbid Tales, Apocalyptic Raids, At War With Satan...and Mercyful Fate's timeless sophomore effort, Don't Break the Oath. 

I think DBtO or Melissa could be interchangeable, depending on my mood, to be honest, but somehow I felt like this one just hit a tiny bit harder, or hits a tiny bit harder for me more often. Like, very tiny. Almost microscopic. Don't Break the Oath had the evil sound of Melissa, but they really went off musically on some of these tracks. A Dangerous Meeting, Nightmare, The Oath, Come to the Sabbath...all incredibly dark and wicked sounding offerings. I think one thing that sticks out to me almost more than Melissa is the extra slightly darker tone which ended up into that formation of black metal(okay, all Mercyful Fate did, but this album's sound was kinda transformative, I think.) Just like Melissa, go out immediately and listen to this album. Not much else to say but "What the fuck are you waiting for." 

--

And that's the list! I'm not sure where I'd put the self-titled EP, but probably around Time, hovering right in that area right before or after it depending on my mood that day. Mercyful Fate is pretty incredibly influential, and really you can't go wrong with listening to any of their albums; that said, if I had to pick three, go with the first three at the start. Then branch out(since others may well find more stuff on the other albums they like even more than I do.)

Looking forward to doing my King Diamond ranking as well; he too has an incredibly strong discography. 

Anyway, 'til next time, readers! 

Hellsinki Metal Fest 2025

 While I'm not going to make this into a full-on review, but I decided to recap my weekend at Hellsinki Metal Festival this year!

The past couple of times(it started in 2023) I wasn't able to make it since the timing was extremely close to trips that we ended up taking, if not overlapping, but given we didn't go visit the US this year or anywhere else, I managed to finally make it, and from here on I think I'll definitely be making it a yearly thing.

In short, this festival feels a lot like Tuska used to back in the day(I'd say before it moved to the new area from the center of Helsinki), which was wonderful. Tuska really started to feel differently after it moved; its last year in the center was 2010(which I missed due to, you guessed it, visiting the US), and I managed to go twice since then, once in 2015 and once in 2018. (My favorite year was 2006, as an aside; getting to see Celtic Frost, Venom, and Sodom in one weekend was amazing.)

It has an excellent setup, very easy to get to stages, and I went toward the covered VIP area and that was nice, too. Great food offerings and even craft beer. The lineup was particularly great this year; King Diamond was the main reason I went and was indeed the MVP of the festival. His stage show always looked amazing on video, and I was right up front enjoying it. The Funeral-Arrival combo is one of the coolest intros ever! King Diamond was another one of those 'white whale' acts of mine that I've listened to for ages, but never got a chance to see him live(or Mercyful Fate) just due to bad timing. 

Also of note were getting to see Sigh finally live; they were another one of those white-whale acts, seminal black metal from Japan, and they put on a great show(and packed the indoor stage, too, so I think a whole lot of people wanted to catch them.) Enslaved put on a great show, and Candlemass were fantastic(another 'finally got to see them' act!). The sun disappeared and the rain rolled in right before their gig and stayed away during it, and I appreciate that as the old doom wizards are best suited for performing in the shade. The Blood Fire Death Tribute to Bathory was the closest thing I came to actually getting to see Bathory live(one of the OG bassists who used to help Quorthon was part of it!) so that was excellent, with Atilla Csihar showing up to do vocals for a track. 

For Marduk, I of course had to show up in my plague gear. I had bought the mask with me, but ended up not wearing it a lot due to how hot and sunny it was over the weekend, but Marduk went on in the evening, so it was cooler for it. 

(Also my DJ outfit.)

I didn't take a whole lot of pictures -- I mentioned this in a past blog, but I'm pretty old-fashioned and don't like to watch a gig through my phone. I just take a few, and a couple of clips of my favorites, and am happy. But here's a few select pictures I took of various acts, in no order whatsoever:

Marduk

Blood Fire Death

                                                                       King Diamond

Enslaved

Sigh

Venom

Anyway, IMHO this is one of the best Finnish metal fests these days. Tuska isn't for me anymore, and that's fine; people into the more mainstream rock and metal or whatnot can have fun there, but Hellsinki is tops. 2 days is perfect I think(I'm feeling my age now despite being in, at least what my watch claims, decent shape for it, but damn 3+ day fests are not it for me anymore), in a great location, with a great setup, and great bands. Here's hoping next year's lineup keeps it going with the past years! 

I hope to be back with my "Azzy Ranks: Mercyful Fate and Azzy Ranks: King Diamond" discographies soon. The first two I did were fun, and I think doing those next would be fitting since I'm still riding the concert high!