Long overdue(okay, maybe not *long*, it's only been a few weeks), I wanted to give my two cents on my favorite King Diamond albums, as well.
Much like Mercyful Fate, the King really never put out an album that I can say I disliked; I will say that I like the King's lowest ranked album less than I do Mercyful Fate's, but I would still happily put it above many a band's 'worst' album. As per usual, I'm just doing normal, full-length releases; no live albums or anything of that nature.
I don't think the top 5 of this list is going to come as a surprise to folks. I don't *try* to follow the mainstream, but certain albums are known to be legendary classics for a reason. King Diamond himself hasn't released a solo album since 2007, which at this point is almost 20 years ago(I say as I blow the dust from my joints thinking about this fact.) He DOES have another one cooking under the hood, though -- and from what he's said, it's going to be a trilogy, so I'm very excited to hear what he comes up with.
So without further ado, let's get going with Azzy Ranks: King Diamond! We have 12 albums to get through this time.
12. House of God(2000):
House of God's story is a little bit different than what we're used to, well...somewhat. King goes a little less into the horror here and more into the church legends(particularly of Rennes Le Château, or at least somewhat; a little more conspiracy-theory or whatnot perhaps.) The story takes a backseat to this one I think, but there are solid tracks to be heard here, and as the rest of his albums, it's worth a listen. Musically it still sounds like King Diamond, even if it's not high-end King, it just means it's a competent album overall. I wish I had more to say about this one, but I'll say I probably listen to it so little that it just doesn't stick out to me too much. But if you're trying to complete a King Diamond collection, it's worth a purchase.
11. The Graveyard(1996):
Whew boy, this one's DARK. Like this is some disturbing content in this, I of course don't mind it or anything but I'll say for people who find things that deal with SA and the like not to your liking, I'd steer clear of this. For those who don't mind that fiction is fiction and not everything has to be a comfy listen, I'd check it out. Dealing with King Diamond playing the part of a dude working for a very nasty, perverted, corrupt mayor, it starts to spiral down into a story of a cursed graveyard and a sanitarium called the "Black Hill Sanitarium", which is, of course, everything it says on the tin, The Graveyard is a pretty good offering overall, though I think for me it's down further on the list just because it kinda lacks some of those memorable riffs on the rest of the albums, but it's still a pretty damn good album anyway. THAT said, the song "Black Hill Sanitarium" does have some of that, as does "Waiting", so it's not like it lacks them completely. I do put this on less than a lot of the others, but decisions must be made.
10. Abigail II: The Revenge(2002):
Being a sequel album to Abigail, I will say it definitely didn't hit as hard as the original, but is nonetheless an incredibly solid album from the King. Picking up where the original left off, it turns out that Abigail ended up living because the Black Horsemen did not go through with nailing her to the coffin with the silver spikes(spoiler: Abigail is the leader of the Black Horsemen's half-sister.) I will say the story continues to be rather good and IS definitely a worthy sequel; but when you release an album like Abigail, the fact he even came close to getting a sequel this good is praiseworthy, in my book. I think they do make a great back-to-back spooky listen. Hell, when I think of these together I almost think they'd make a pretty awesome set of AD&D modules or something. The sequel is actually quite darker than the original. Sometimes I wonder if the story *needed* a sequel, though, which is why I have it kinda in the middle. But this is a *music* rating, so I think I should touch on the music here too, and musically, I think I'm happy with its placement as well. Good, solid songs, but doesn't quite have Abigail's magic. (It's hard to not compare the two, as much as I try.)
9. Voodoo(1998)
Does that art look familiar? That's Kristian "Necrolord" Wåhlin, AKA one of the extreme metal art gods, AKA purveyor of purple black metal castles everywhere. Besides the bitching cover art, Voodoo is a fun and strong album. Story-wise, this deals with a Voodoo-themed setup. Set in an old colonial house in the early 1930s near Baton Rouge, Louisiana(this gives me a huge Alone in the Dark vibe, btw; I mean the old, 1992 game, not any of the horrid remakes, which, as an aside is one of my more influential games), the Lafayette family moves in and of course the house is located next to an old Voodoo graveyard. The houses' caretaker, named Salem, also practices voodoo, and as one could surmise, horror hijinks ensue. This one lacks some of the super dark themes of Abigail II and The Graveyard. Moving onto the songs(I apologize again for waxing too long about the album themes, I'll try to snip that later), Voodoo has some crowd-pleasers on it, between the title track(an oft-played track in his live shows), and I personally really like the almost thrash-metal-esque "A Secret" and the dark, heavy "Salem." Just a cool album I think.
8. Give Me Your Soul...Please(2007):
This one happens to be King Diamond's most recent full-length(not counting the new song he's released, since the full-lengths aren't out yet.) I like this one; the story is quite dark and I think the songs overall are really damn good on it. In this one, it features the spirits of two children murdered by their father. The girl wants to save her brother, so she haunts King to try to get him to help. Really dark and creepy premise. Musically it brings out some thrashier sounds here and there which I appreciate, and there's some of those tell-tale "King Diamond Anthems" on it -- "Never Ending Hill", "Is Anybody Here?", and the title track fall here I think. I really like the riffs and guitar work on this album. Some excellent melodies to be found on it. Coupled with the creepy presence I kinda think this album flies under the radar for some King Diamond fans. Hell I think I might have underrated it myself for years, but I feel pretty good putting it here.
7. The Spider's Lullabye(1995):
I actually had to come back to this one almost moreso than some of the others; this is definitely, on another listen, one of those 'I don't really put it on a lot' KD albums", with the caveat "Damn, why DON'T I put this on more often?" It's actually pretty damn solid on a new listen. I guess King is just one of those people who I find myself drifting toward The Old Classics more often(like, if I reach for an album, I find myself reaching for Abigail, or Fatal Portrait, or GRANDMAAAA or whatnot.) But yeah, this is a really solid album. Great riffs and melodies here. The intro track "From the Other Side" has trappings of those King Diamond Classics. This album breaks KD's normal mold, btw, in that only half the songs form a concept -- the second half. The first half are just songs, but I think it works fine. The first few songs do have themes; "Killer", for example, is about a serial killer being put to death, and "Poltergeist" is about a ghost hunter dealing with a spirit. In a way, the first four songs are kind of like a horror anthology, only in album form? The concept for the second half deals with curing a man of his arachnophobia, through the help of a Totally Not Wicked Doctor, Dr. Eastmann. I'd say to really go give this another listen and see if it hits you the same way as it did me on a relisten. Hell, on another day, this could've been number 6. It's extremely close, anyway.
6. The Puppet Master(2003)
Nothing says 'creepy ass horror' more than evil puppets. Okay, maybe some things say horror more than creepy puppets, but we all know that creepy dolls and puppets make for some equally creepy shit. A concept album about a creepy puppetmaster from Budapest and his wife who can turn people into said puppets(I'm pretty sure there exists a horror movie about this.) Did I mention these puppets are almost life-size and in the songs look 'life-like?' ANYWAY, The Puppet Master is KD's 11th album, and just falls outside of my top 5. (Yeah, remember, I do pay attention to new albums.) All in all it's a great creepy album, with some great riffs, and despite being recorded in 2003, totally has KD's classic sound. Which I appreciate. The title track is excellent, I adore the song "Magic", and all told the album is just solid from beginning to end. If KD can even get near this point with his newer, upcoming albums, count me absolutely in. This album I think would make a pretty killer movie, too, in the right hands.
5. The Eye(1990)
The Eye actually goes toward a bit more of a historical bent here, as instead of going into their horror-stories, The Eye deals with the old-school witch trials. Hearing King Diamond sing about them is of course incredibly creepy, as his wailing voice really gives an edge to the songs. "Burn" is incredible. The riffs are strong, and this album I think sometimes gets the tiniest bit overlooked compared to the numbers 4 through 1 for me, though he does play some of these tracks live(and they sound great, too.) Overall The Eye is a great album and is definitely one that I'll find myself grabbing off the shelf when I want to get in that spooky-creative mood. (I'm not sure exactly why it leads toward a 'spooky-creative' mood when it's more based off of real life stuff, but a good witch-based album I reckon always helps.)
4. Them(1988)
Say it with me now: GRANDMAAAAA! Them is King Diamond's third album, the first part of the Conspiracy-Them duo. The King's mentally ill grandma is the center of this whole thing, but of course she makes a good cup of tea. Them is a banger from start to finish, with "Welcome Home" and "The Invisible Guests" being two of my favorites. An eerie album, it's less straight-up satanic horror and more 'Personal Horror', given the scary ass grandma in these. Them makes its way onto my playlist quite often and will probably continue to for a long time. Them and Conspiracy are pretty much interchangeable, depending on my mood, and yeah, I basically just gave away number three. But yeah, Them is a must-buy and I don't know any metalhead who doesn't give a big GRANDMAAAAAA shout at the beginning of the legendary "Welcome Home."
3. Conspiracy(1989)
Giving away number 3 above, Conspiracy, KD's fourth album, is the 2nd part of the Them-Conspiracy duology. Both concept albums dealing with the King living with his creepy grandma and all of the weirdness that comes within, Conspiracy is a very strong album with plenty of memorable riffs and songs on it. "At the Graves" creepy 'evil circus music' opening gives way to quite the headbanger of a song which showcases the King's falsetto and has some fantastic riffs and is catchy as all hell. It might actually be one of my favorite KD songs if I listed a top 20 or something, in fact. I'd say the albums are totally worth listening to back to back. This was one of the first KD albums I bought, in fact, way back, along with Abigail, so there might be a little bit of that nostalgic draw to it for me, too. I still remember seeing the cover there looking at me in the record store.
2. Fatal Portrait(1986)
King Diamond's debut album narrowly gets my 2nd place spot. I gotta say 4-3-2 are extremely close to each other. Fatal Portrait really still has those remnants of old Mercyful Fate, and since I do tend to listen to Mercyful Fate slightly more often, it may explain my affinity for the album. This album isn't so much of a full concept, but has some thematic songs to it and such. One of my favorite King Diamond tracks is located on this album, which is "Dressed In White"(it's only 3 minutes long, but it's one of those 'Put on Repeat' songs it's so good.) At least for me, anyway. It SOUNDS like it could be a Mercyful Fate song even more than some of the others; it has that pure early 80s dark heavy metal sound to it. The whole album rips, though, and it's why it sits in my number 2 spot overall. I put it on almost as much as the number 1, which is gonna come as absolutely zero surprise.
1. Abigail(1987)
To what is probably no one's surprise, Abigail hits the number one spot. One of my favorite, if not my favorite, concept albums of all time; the King remains the master of crafting a good concept album, as they just hit again and again. Abigail is wonderfully creepy and eerie, with unforgettable songs(you have to see "Funeral" -> "Arrival" live to appreciate it even more), and the album hits from start to finish. Telling the story of Miriam Natias and Jonathan La'Fey, the couple move into an old mansion that was owned by one of La'Fey's now-dead family members and he 'luckily' inherited it. They are greeted by seven horsemen at the gates that warn them not to move in...but we all know how this goes. I don't want to spoil the album's story, but it hits my style of horror as I love anything that takes place in The Olden Days in terms of horror. The story and concept are great, the songs are impeccable, and it's one of those Heavy Metal Must-Own albums. Get out there and listen to it! (OH yeah, and this one's REALLY good for sparking the creativity when you're doing spooky stuff, and indeed, I have based some of an AD&D module I have written on some aspects of this album, but that's a story for another time.)
--
And boom. King Diamond's albums rated by me, how I'd place them this week. Some of the ones out of the top 5 could be pretty shiftable, I admit, and Conspiracy/Them definitely shifts around a bit, but the top 2 I'd say are very solidly in their positions. Did I mention Abigail is one of the best concept albums of all time? You all really need to check that one out(and yeah, listen to the follow-up, too! It's great as well, even if it's further down.)
Alrighty folks! Til' next time, stay evil or something, kiddies. (I just watched some Tales from the Crypt.)
